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More Spring :: More King

More Spring :: More King

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The man? The myth? The legend.

 

Do you folks know the King of Spring?

He's a big fella, roughly 6 foot 5 inches with a mop of shiny red hair that makes the sun feel insecure.

He was first spotted at Killington in 2013, winning hearts and minds of the locals while physically dominating and emotionally devestating any human who dared cross his path.

To the King of Spring!

 

Did you ever hear about the time the King of Spring invented snowboarding?

He didn't want the credit and quickly gave up the sport, choosing instead to out perform every man, woman and child on two planks in New England.

He's one big dude, goes about 7 feet tall. Legend states that he's half man, half sasquatch and three quarters bull moose.

It's rumored that he was banned from the Bear Mountain Mogul Challenge because Outer Limits was so afraid of him it went limp and flattened out.

To the King of Spring!

 

The King has been spotted in Boston more than once. He was the point guard for the 2008 Celtics, remember that?

Kevin Garnett first said "Anything is possible!" after watching the King of Spring eat three 72 oz. porterhouse steaks then burn down the restaurant with single thrust of his hips.

If you order an Uber in Boston and a duck boat pulls up driven by the King of Spring you have two options. Run for your life or hop in, buckle your seat belt and text your loved ones goodbye because no mortal lives to tell about a day with such a creature.

The King is a hulking mass of humanity, about 8 feet 5 inches tall and 500 pounds.

To the King of Spring!

 

Rumor goes that Old Man Winter was going to bring heavy rains on the mountain as payback after his review but the King of Spring intercepted the rain clouds.

He ate them in two giant bites that sounded like sonic booms then belched so hard that it blew Old Man Winter back to the Pacific Northwest.

Then the King demanded that the sun stay out longer in the afternoon to improve his tan and wouldn't you know it? The sun did exactly what it was told.

He's a real powerhouse, that King. About 12 feet tall weighing 2 tons. 

To the King of Spring!

 

The King of Spring is one big boy - thirty feet tall and about as heavy as a dumptruck loaded to the brim with gold bricks.

He has a habit of showing up at Killington unannounced, causing mass pandemonium as he makes every bump on the mountain quake with nervous excitement.

Spring is his season. His time. We heard a rumor that he just bought a bike - a custom machine with steel tubing and monster truck tires. 

Should he decided to rule summer, fall or winter, who are we human subjects to try and stop him?

Long live the King!

 

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